Imminent Cat-astrophe

Meow here we see a cat, purr-fectly perched upon a nightstand. Cats are known for their ability to sleep anywhere and their complete disregard for the belongings or puss-onal space of others, a fur-some combination. The catnap was clearly named for good reasons. However, felines also have a hiss-tory of being wrathful creatures, a demeanor their fluffy exterior does not accurately paw-tray. Attempt to wake a napping kitty, whether they are snoozing soundly on the floor or have just recently decided your forehead looked like a pretty mice place to chill, and you are asking for bit. A feline that needs to be awoken can’t be pla-cat-ed, one must simply deal with a furry im-pet-iment wherever it may be, or suffer a few decent flesh wounds. We here at Cat Texts, upon receiving this picture, feared our Real Life Cat Lady might be claws to waking the dozing kitty. We responded with urgent warnings, tails of horror, and in-depth cat-tistics on 2011 deaths-by-cat nationwide, but she thought we were kitten. We yarn-nt fe-lyin’ when we say we expect that fluffy and innocent façade to disappear someday… likely in a bloody massacre.

A Leafy Green Menace

A leafy green menace is stalking the cat world, ready to pounce on unsuspecting cats all to eager to experiment. We know what you’re thinking, and no, it isn’t Dennis the Menace in camo with a sling shot. And no, it isn’t the Jolly Green Giant either. This threat to the well-being of cats everywhere is Nepeta cataria. “Now come on Cat Texts,” you may be asking, “what in tarnation is that?” Dear reader, you may recognize this substance by several of its more common street names: cat nip, catswort, or cat mint. Cats, driven by their innate curiousity, are allured by the sensual and highly enjoyable hallucinations this substances brings on. Easily procured at various drug rings, or “pet stores”, this narcotic makes cats unaware of everyday life. For a species so unconcerned with how the real world works anyway, this combination can be devastating. Note how these cats stare off into the distance, no doubt startled by some innocuous sound, eyes wide with concern. No wonder Marx called catnip “the opiate of the cats.” We here at Cat Texts alerted Real Life Lady to the dangers this “Cat Nip” poses, but she seemed unperturbed, and even insisted on placating her cats with a weekly indulgence of the stuff.

The Ancients

Man has always been fascinated with those who have come before.  The mysteries of the ancients capture the imagination and show us new ways to live, think, believe, and explore. Through the experiences of older generations, we learn what it means to live on this earth, to call this place our home. It was our pleasure then, when Real Life Lady showed us the Cats Who Came Before, Ben and Callie. While we at Cat Texts may have fun with the images we are sent, we also realize that these cats bring joy to their “owners”.  And so, in simple memoriam, we present these images to you, both of Ben and Callie, who are the Cats Who Came Before, and who, for perhaps a brief time in this world, were, and indeed still are, reminders of the good and joy in the world.