A leafy green menace is stalking the cat world, ready to pounce on unsuspecting cats all to eager to experiment. We know what you’re thinking, and no, it isn’t Dennis the Menace in camo with a sling shot. And no, it isn’t the Jolly Green Giant either. This threat to the well-being of cats everywhere is Nepeta cataria. “Now come on Cat Texts,” you may be asking, “what in tarnation is that?” Dear reader, you may recognize this substance by several of its more common street names: cat nip, catswort, or cat mint. Cats, driven by their innate curiousity, are allured by the sensual and highly enjoyable hallucinations this substances brings on. Easily procured at various drug rings, or “pet stores”, this narcotic makes cats unaware of everyday life. For a species so unconcerned with how the real world works anyway, this combination can be devastating. Note how these cats stare off into the distance, no doubt startled by some innocuous sound, eyes wide with concern. No wonder Marx called catnip “the opiate of the cats.” We here at Cat Texts alerted Real Life Lady to the dangers this “Cat Nip” poses, but she seemed unperturbed, and even insisted on placating her cats with a weekly indulgence of the stuff.