Ritual sacrifice. Blood offering. The giving up of a living being to a higher power or purpose. Sadly, in modern society the good old-fashioned spilling of blood to the gods to ensure the crops grew and your high priest had some company sailing down the river of the afterlife has become a lost art. So, when we here at Cat Texts realized the gift that we have been given, the fertile field of a female friend infatuated with felines, we wanted to ensure that this plot would continue reaping the bountiful crop it had blessed us with so far. And so, as anyone would do, we sketched a picture of an adorable little kitty toying with some string, and offered it to our provider as a token of our eternal gratitude.

With words that echoed the deities of ages past, and will undoubtedly reverberate in eons to come, she responded with “Awwww it’s got a lil ball of yarn! I wanna put it on my fridge.”

And the harvest was abundant.